~ Written by Danielle N. Bilski ~
ENG210: Creative Writing
Assessment 3: Creative piece and Reflective statement
Time to reflect
Written by Danielle Bilski
Festive decorations have been stocked in the supermarkets for two months already and yet there is still six weeks until Christmas. Xiu walks into her daughter’s bedroom, carrying a pile of washing, clean and neatly folded. She opens the top draw of the polished dresser and carefully places the intimates inside. As she pushes the draw closed, her eyes catch on a small black box with silver letters printed across the top. She picks it up, lifts the lid. It is empty. This pleases her immensely.
She sits down on the bed, still holding the box. She has one hand on top, one underneath it, encompassing it like an oyster shell with its pearl missing. Smiling to herself, her gaze falls upon her own reflection in the wall mirror, the flowers delicately carved into the corner of its frame. Her hair is shorter, she is wearing different clothes, but she recognises herself and she doesn’t look so out of place in her daughter’s room these days.
Although she is sceptical of the much-publicised apocalypse due on December 21 this year, her son had brought it up as dinner conversation every day that week. Despite her best efforts, it has left her feeling increasingly tense. Whether the end of the world came then or not, eventually everyone’s end would come, she knew this.
Now, there is a calmness in this room, a presence of hope. She realises all the anxiety has completely dissipated. This empty box means whatever belongs inside it is being appreciated, is living a life of endless possibilities, as was intended. It is being worn as a present to mark the present and a symbol of faith in an unpredictable future.
Xiu stands up, walks over to the mirror and runs her finger along the wood where some of it has been carefully removed to create a semblance of natural beauty. Something like this needs to be kept safe and cherished as a relic of the past, because if it is ever dissolves like a memory, it could never be replaced.
Christmas Eve 2011
Melbourne, Australia
Xiu Yang was alone in the dark kitchen, gently placing the dumplings she had spent all morning making, one by one into the bamboo steamer. Her red and white apron was lightly covered with sprinkles of flour like snowflakes, uncharacteristic of a hot Australian summer. The bench was spread with carrot sticks and broccoli flowerettes, baby corn and brown onions, garlic cloves and hokkien noodles for the stir fry which would follow the dumpling entree.
Disguised by the hissing of the bubbling water, the whir of rangehood overhead and the rattle of the oscillating fan in the doorway, she didn’t hear the key turn in the front door.
‘Nǐ hǎo! Honey, I’m home!’ The familiar voice floated down the hallway, the words tickling her ears.
Xiu turned around in time to see her husband, dressed in khaki shorts, bright blue t-shirt and black Havaiana thongs, place some bags on a chair and his Oakley sunglasses on the glass tabletop. When he came close enough to kiss her, Xiu could smell the saltiness of his tanned skin and taste the sweetness of his mouth. It reminded her of the fine Spring day they first met at St Kilda beach two years before.
To take her mind off the divorce from her ex-husband, she decided to treat Kelly, who was fourteen and Li, who was eleven, with a trip to Luna Park. They had eaten three bags of fairy floss, played the carnival games and traded their tickets for novelty prizes. Li convinced her to ride the roller coaster and as they were leaving, she asked a passer-by to take a photo of the three of them standing under the open mouth at the park’s entrance. They ate lunch in a café in Barkley Street and were browsing the Sunday market lining the Boulevard when they came across Gary’s stall. She instantly fell in love with a wall mirror with a thick polished frame Gary had made by hand, flowers carved neatly into the corner. He picked it up and brought it closer. Seeing her reflection in it, she also noticed him standing behind it, holding it up for her. Looking more closely, their faces standing side by side as one picture, she watched as they blending seamlessly against the cloudless blue backdrop of the sky and Port Phillip Bay.
‘Bǎobèi, nǐ hǎo. Where’s Kelly and Li?’ Xiu asked, looking over his shoulder. She was amused by the irony that Gary had gone to pick up her son and daughter from the local shopping centre, only to return with an armful of bags and no teenagers in sight.
‘They went straight out the back for a swim,’ Gary replied, taking a bite of a crisp carrot stick.
‘I was worried you wouldn’t get back in time to get ready before our guests arrive. Where have you been so long?’ She shuffled the dumplings around the basket, absentmindedly.
‘Guess,’ he replied casually, taking another bite. Xiu placed the lid careful on the steamer, put the tongs on the sink and turned to face him, smiling.
‘Ok, um…Give me a clue.’
‘Well, it starts with g and ends with s-s.’ Xiu’s hands went automatically to her hips and her expression descended to a frown.
‘You went to drink Guinness at a bar! Oh, Gary! You said you were coming home after picking the kids up from Chadstone.’
‘I did. I just had to take care of a few things.’ Gary reached for another carrot stick.
‘So you didn’t go to a bar?’
‘No, I told you where I went, bǎobèi.’
‘You said guess.’ She picked up a packet of noodles, tore the top open and emptied the content into a stainless saucepan on the stove.
‘I know what I said.’ Gary took a beer from the fridge. A burst of cold air escaped like a manifestation of the frostiness he sensed in Xiu’s tone.
‘So, you went inside?’ she pressed.
‘Yes. Why?’ Gary sat down at the table, settling his bottle on a red coaster speckled with tiny silver and gold stars.
‘Did you go outside as well?’ Picking up the kettle, Xiu turned her back towards him, filling it with water from the faucet.
‘Um, yeah. How do you think I got here?’
‘I know! Grass!’ she said whisking around, suddenly reinspired.
‘What about grass?’
‘Did you take Lulu for a walk at the park?’ Placing the kettle on the base and she turned turned it on.
‘I drove past one. Does that count?’
‘Not really. Especially if Lulu wasn’t even in the car.’
‘Ah!’
‘Did you mow the lawn?’ She picked up an onion and a sharp knife. Cutting the end, she peeled the skin off, one layer at a time.
‘No bloody way! Have you been outside recently?’ Gary gestured towards the back door.
‘No, no! Food don’t make it-self.’ Xiu waved the onion in one hand and the knife in the other, around the kitchen at the assorted ingredients, in their individual stages of preparation.
‘That’s true. By the way, those dumpling smell delicious, love!’
‘Thank you.’
‘I mean, why would anyone have a barbeque today? Surely it’s a total fire ban! So what time is your sister and the rest of the Yang family coming?’ Gary spun his sunglasses around the tip of his index finger, looking at the clock on the oven.
‘In half an hour.’
‘In that case, I’m going for a shower. It’s like a sauna out there,’ standing up, taking a sip of his beer.
‘Hang on. Before you go, let me get it. Please?’ Hurrying over to Gary, she placed her hands on his forearms, looking up into his green eyes.
‘Get what?’
Aware her brother and sister and their partners and children would be there very soon, Xiu knew the food could wait a little longer while she figured out why Gary had taken longer to arrive than she had expected. Xiu’s hands flew to cover her open-circle mouth. ‘Oh, no! You took the car to get the glass fixed, yes?’
‘Wait just a second! When did the car window break?’
‘You didn’t know?’ Her voice rose in exaggerated surprise. Damn! she cursed herself, silently.
‘I do now!‘ His sarcasm was palpable.
‘Gary, please don’t be angry. It’s Christmas Eve.’
‘God help me,’ he breathed.
‘Did you go to worship goddess Kuan Yin already?’
‘Why would I go without you? We always go to the temple as a family at Christmas.’
‘You’re right, we go after dinner tonight,’ Xiu confirmed, turning and walking back to the kettle with an audible sigh.
‘What’s wrong love? You seem a little flustered. Come here and give us a hug!’
‘No, no! You sweaty. Don’t touch me! Eew!’ Her arms flapped in front of her, trying to push him away. Her small hands looked tiny against his broad chest. Gary held up his arm and breathed in a quick whiff of himself.
‘Actually, I do smell pretty gross! You wanna come for a shower?’
‘Are you sure it ends with two s?’ she answered, seemingly dazed.
‘Positive. Now, come with me my beautiful princess.’ He gently took her hand in his and lead her towards the narrow hallway. He could feel precisely when her hand slipped out of his like water. By the time her turned around, she had already picked up the kettle and was pouring it into the saucepan amassing a cloud of steam around her long, shiny, black hair.
‘Xiu?’
‘No, I can’t! I have to finish making jiaozi and stir fry.’
‘Ok, well while you do that, I’ll take this stuff upstairs so we can wrap it later and put it under the tree for the kids.’ Gary placed his glasses on his head and picked up the shopping bags with both hands.
‘Wait! What is in there?’ she asked.
‘Oh, just some presents I bought for Li and Kelly. I know you’ve told me Buddhists don’t really exchange gifts, but I wanted to maintain some of the British Baytte family’s Christmas traditions as well. I hope that’s alright.’
‘Yes, it’s ok. That’s nice of you!’
‘I’m that kind of guy, I suppose.’
‘Yes, you good man.’ Xiu stood on her toes and kissed him on the cheek, rubbing circles on his back. ‘Show me what’s inside,’ she pointed, inquisitively.
‘You sure you want me to show you here in the kitchen? The kids might come in and see,’ his eyes flickering from the back door, down the hallway like a child anticipating their parents catching the peeking at the carefully wrapped presents under the Christmas tree.
‘No, what is this one?’ she asked, pointing to a small black bag with thin rope handles.
‘This?’
‘Yes’ she nodded, expectantly.
‘From Guess?’
‘Guess?’
‘Yes, it’s a watch for Kelly.’ Gary reached in the bag and removed a square black box embossed with silver text.
‘From Chadstone?’
‘Yes, I told you I went to Guess.’
‘No, I said where have you been and you said to guess.’
‘That’s right. I said I have been to Guess. Kelly picked out the watch she wanted.’ He opened the box to reveal a thick silver band and a square face accented with crystals.
‘Oh! I thought we were playing a game.’ Xiu took the box from him and drew it closer, inspecting it face to face. ‘It’s very beautiful!’
‘What kind of game did you think we were playing?’
‘The Guess game.’
‘A guessing game?’
‘Starts with g.’
‘Oh, and ending with double s. I see! That’s why you wouldn’t let me go for a shower.’ He took the box from her, snapped it shut and dropped it back into the bag.
‘I wanted to win the game.’
‘So the Chinese Goddess Kuan Yin…’
‘Yes, Ku-an Yin,’ she repeated, deliberately sounding out the syllables.
‘She sat on the grass, drinking Guinness from a glass.’
‘Ha ha!’ she laughed. ‘Apparently, yes.’
‘That was you trying to work out where I had been?’
‘We both learned a lot today.’
‘You’re right about that, my love.’ He brushed her fringe to one side and kissed her forehead. She closed her eyes. They sat silently for a moment, heads together, an unspoken understanding passing between them. When she opened her dark eyes, she was staring straight into his.
‘So, Gary and Kelly went to Guess.’ Gary nodded.
‘Xiu broke the car window.’ His eyebrows lifted slightly, but he was unable to suppress his smirk for very long.
‘No! Not my fault! Ask Li, he was in the car. The stone came out of nowhere.’
‘It’s ok. I believe you. Lulu needs a proper walk.’
‘Yes, when it cools down. Putting her in the back of the car doesn’t count, ok?’
‘But she loves sticking her head out of the window.’ Gary envisioned Lulu’s fluffy little Maltese head, ears flapping, mouth open wide and tongue licking the air as it whipped past the window. He realised how funny she must look to the people in the cars that passed.
‘Doesn’t matter. Listen, the back lawn needs mowing.’
‘Ok, but first things first. I really need a shower.’ Picking up the bags, he started out of the kitchen.
‘Wait, Gary!’
‘You’ve changed you mind about the shower?’
‘It’s not that.’
‘Then what is it?’
What is my Christmas present?’
‘Ah, ha!’ He shook his head. ‘I’m not telling!’
‘Guess?’
‘No. Not this time.’
‘Go get ready, smelly,’ she waved him away.
‘I can tell you one thing.’
‘What?’
‘Wǒ ài nǐ.’
‘Oh, haha. I love you too.’
Xiu walked to the bench and started cutting the onion. When she had finished dicing, she walked to the back door and opened it. A wave of heat almost pushed her back inside as she stepped gingerly onto the unsheltered porch.
‘Li, Kelly, time to get ready,’ she sang. Moments later Kelly and Li ran up the steps, pushed passed her to go inside, Lulu following closely behind them. Xiu walked inside, closed the door and waited for her eyes to readjust to the darkness.
‘Jiaozi, měi wèi! Kelly complimented, lifting the lid from the steamer.
‘How was your swim? You must have dried fast.’
‘We didn’t go for a swim. We were playing with Lulu,’ Li said, kneeling on the floor, tickling Lulu behind her ears. He picked up an orange tennis ball from under the table and she hopped around the grey marble linoleum after him. Xiu and Kelly watched them, amused.
‘Māma ?’
‘Yes.’ Kelly hesitated, the words lingering on her tongue like a bee sting.
‘What is it?’
‘uh, do you want me to set the table?’ Kelly asked.
‘I would love that. Thank you.’ Taking a pile of gold-rimmed plates out of the antique glass cabinet she handed them to her daughter. As a flash of light reflected off the glass onto Kelly’s face, as she closed the door, Xiu felt like she was looking at a sixteen year old version of herself. She’d always thought she looked more like her father. In another flash, Kelly had disappeared into the dining room.
Now, eighteen years later, Xiu was a Chinese woman married to a beer drinking Aussie bloke. Together they were raising two teenagers she knew her husband genuinely loved as if they were his own. She never would have thought she’d be celebrating a vegetarian, Chinese – Australian, Buddhist – Christian Christmas Eve. She hoped her daughter would one day be as happy when she started her own family. Of course, she wished for the same fortune for her son.
Taking a stack of green serviettes from a draw, she placed them on the bench beside the polished silver cutlery.
‘What can I do to help?’ Li asked.
‘Would you mind feeding Lulu please?’ Xiu drained the noodles and poured oil into the wok, turning on the gas.
‘Lulu, come on. Hungry girl?’ She watched how attentive her son was with the dog. With any luck, he would become more like Gary than her ex-husband; his real father. The handsome doctor her parents had wanted her to marry as soon as she graduated high school. She couldn’t blame her parents for wanting her to have opportunities they hadn’t had when they arrived in Australia. However, the only love she got out of that fourteen year marriage was from her children. She always felt there was something missing. Or someone…Gary.
Only the week before, Gary had gone to speak at Li’s school for Career Week and Li announced at the dinner table that night he wanted to go to TAFE to become a carpenter like Gary.
Xiu had told him ‘As long as you are happy.’
‘Gary is, so I will be too,’ he had replied and she had no trouble believing it now.
‘Li?’
‘Yeah Mum?
‘Xie xie,’ she thanked him, reaching out to give him a hug.
‘It’s ok.’
‘Come here,’ she gestured, chasing him around the table.
‘Mum, it’s too hot!’
‘It’s never too hot to give your mother a hug at Christmas.’ They both laughed as Li ducked his head and wriggled away from her. Kelly smiled as she watched them from the doorway.
‘You’ll give me a hug, won’t you my girl,’ she pleaded.
‘Maybe later. Hey Māma, did Gary tell you where we went today?’
‘Yes, eventually.’
‘Then did Li tell you Dad rang?’
‘No, did he?’
‘Yeah, he called my mobile this morning. He asked me to say Merry Christmas to you and Gary for him.’
‘That was a nice thing to do, but it’s Christmas tomorrow.’
‘I know, but he rang early because he’ll be working tomorrow.’
Smiling to herself, Xiu emptied the onion cubes into the wok, added two cloves of crushed garlic and stirred. She watched as the garlic and onion started to change colour, the oil sizzling excitedly, a strong aroma filling the entire house. Gary quietly slid up behind her, putting his arm around her waist. He rested his hand on her stomach and his chin lightly on her shoulder. Turning her around to face him, he took a bunch of white chrysanthemum, tied with a gold ribbon, from behind his back.
‘I thought we could take these to the alter tonight. You know, for the Yang energy, the blessing of this home and our family.’
‘Trust me, they’ll be plenty of that here very soon. I’ll put them in a vase, so remind me to take them with us when we go.’ Xui appreciated the gesture, but looking at Gary, at Kelly and Li, she secretly believed it would be more of a thank you for the blessings already bestowed.
As she looked at her husband, dressed in a shirt and tie, grey slacks and smelling like musk, she was in the presence of a real man who would take care of her, see her, instead of just the empty reflection of someone even she hadn’t recognised. When she looked in his eyes, at his damp blonde hair combed to one side, at the freckles on his sun-kissed nose, she could see the innocence of a boy, simply loving a girl. With him, that was something she never had to guess.
Reflective statement
This short story titled ‘Time to reflect’ was conceived out of the writing exercise in week ten which requested the creation of ‘a prose scene or a story that features the use of dialogue.’ The context of this prose scene was the dialogue between Xiu and Gary, based on the misunderstanding of the use of the word ‘guess’. Xiu takes the word as an invitation to a game, while Gary is actually referring to the luxury brand. This was an attempt to highlight the flexibility of the English language, juxtaposed against the multicultural setting as Xiu’s first language is Mandarin. The conversational style of the dialogue I used in this piece was inspired by Tim Winton’s ‘That Eye the Sky’. More specifically, the protagonist Ort uses language that is colloquial and appropriate for the setting and his characterisation and similarly Gary uses basic Mandarin to demonstrate the embracing of Xiu’s background.
Guess as a brand lead to the setting being established. This was achieved through mention of Chadstone Shopping Centre as a globally recognisable designer brand mecca. This draws on the topic studied in week eleven ‘The city’ which encouraged the use of a familiar place and culture to provide the basis for a piece of writing.
The time period for this piece being Christmas serves as a representation of the social and economic justification of extravagant gifts and also brings to the forefront the differences in religion, food and language that Xiu and Gary must consider, in order for their blended family to achieve mutual happiness. I drew a lot upon my own experiences of Christmas as a Christian tradition, then researched recipes and Buddhist traditions, including the Chinese goddess Ku-an Yin – goddess adhering to the clue of starting with ‘g’, ending with double ‘s’ that Gary gives Xiu.
Once the guessing game was completed, the actions and descriptive details were added, Xiu’s thoughts and feelings from a focalised third person point-of-view and finally the presence of minor characters, Kelly and Li. I felt confident the story was well developed and the characterisation and setting were clear. At this stage it was told entirely in past tense.
At this point, I posted the draft onto the Writing Salon, which had been opened up to all students. I received feedback from two classmates, which featured prominently as I continued the editing process.
Jean-Marc Spiler appreciated the earthiness and sensuality of the piece, but thought ‘the ‘guessing game’ for example, which is a great idea, could be a little more condensed maybe…’ While this is definitely a valid point, I had difficulty working out which parts to remove. I think each guess – ‘Guinness’, ‘grass’, ‘glass window’ and ‘goddess’ – adds important cultural, religious and domestic elements to the story, as well as keeping the dialogue grounded and cohesive.
Craig Flowenswell said ‘while the dialogue is the major part of the narrative I felt like I needed to know more of Xiu’s story to understand better her joy with her simple Australian family life. As a story it really needs to explicate the change that has brought her to this happy place, a sense of where Xiu has been to have come so far. Perhaps with a memory scar, a reflection on an object.’
This comment drew my attention to the mirror as a referent from week five. It ulktimately served two purposes: 1) to introduce more about how Xiu and Gary met and 2) as a motif for Xiu to ‘reflect’ on the piece as a memory. This demonstrated my understanding of the topic of memory studied in week six as well as time structure, past and present, from week seven’s lesson. Gillian Mears ‘Bird O’ Circle’ had a strong influence in my own work at this time because of the way it moves from the present to the past and back again.
Another important detail which I added to the story after reading Flowenswell’s comment was dialogue between Xiu and Kelly, when she reveals that her father had called her and that he was working on Christmas Day. This provided a clear contrast towards the conclusion of the piece, which serves to heal the memory scar of her first marriage and heighten the appreciation of the happy place Xiu is in now. While she has changed, her ex-husband’s life remains relatively the same without her and the children.
The introduction to the piece in present tense was the last thing I wrote, attempting cohesion between the Guess watch, the mirror, the guessing game, and Xiu and Gary’s love story. I hope the introduction has a unifying element as the characters’ similarities as humans and differences as individuals are reflected upon and celebrated, not only at Christmas time but all year.
This piece was originally titled ‘Christmas anew’. However, after significant editing following the workshop comments, I decided that ‘Time to reflect’ was more poignant. It united the Guess watch and the handmade mirror Gary gave to Kelly, tied with the memories Xiu has of him and the context of a future the world is unsure of, but Xiu is content with.
Originally being based on a dialogue exercise, this piece has inadvertently come to demonstrate the importance of all of the topics we have studied over the past twelve weeks. Each element plays a vital role in creating a comprehensive narrative that has meaning and a clear purpose, capturing a change or/epiphany ultimately subject to an individual reader’s interpretation.
My time with you
©2013 Danielle N. Bilski